Barclays banker

You're a TV stock-market analyst. Investors up and down the country value your expert opinion. CEOs hang on your every word.

But your job's getting you down, you're having a bit of a mid-life crisis, and you've got money worries. You need to let off steam. So what do you do? Take up a new hobby, perhaps golf or sailing? Buy a convertible? Go to the pub with your mates and talk it over?

Or do you hang a sign around your neck that says, "Chop off my cock" and go masturbating in public?

If your name's Marcel Mussler, you do the latter. A one-time talking head on Bloomberg and German news channel n-tv, Mussler has just been fined 2000 euros for two counts of gross indecency. According to Bild, in early 2006, he approached a woman at a bus stop and opened up his trenchcoat to reveal the inviting message: Schwanz ab. He then asked the woman if she would like to do the deed (cut off his little general, that is). Clearly unfazed, the quick-witted woman replied, "Only if you pay me 1,000 euros and give me written permission." Mussler scarpered.

Later, he turned up in Frankfurt's red-light district, and, still donning his sign, proceeded to bash his bischof in front of a 16-year-old girl while shouting, "Do you want a go?"

Bild's intrepid reporters caught up with Mussler at home. The explanation for his bizarre behaviour? "I was going through a bit of a crisis and had financial problems. I had to let off steam. Some people's sexual urges are just different. I'm going to apologise to the women involved. I was so stupid! In future, I'll let off steam at home."

Mussler has since been, ahem, relieved of several positions he held.

Comments

[Emeline]

Good morning my dear !

First, I would like to say to you that I deeply like your blog; it is quite interesting and so well-done. Congratulations!

Then, I would like you go on!

Best Regards,
Emeline

[Prof Shaun T Sheep]

Why thank you very much!

[Rob]

It must be catching...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/6586879.stm

Just a stone's throw from my office too!

[Sally]

I'm a bit late with this comment - but hey it's lovely weather - who cares! I think that woman at the bus stop got off lightly. Anyone reading today's Daily Mail (April 26) will have been interested to read that on Sunday a man got up on the table in one of London's prime eateries (Zizzis) and chopped his penis off himself. Staff at St. Thomas Hospital worked hard to save the organ. The man will be detained under the Mental Health Act. Now THERE'S a surprise!