Arses and elbows

I've been getting strange sales calls from Deutsche Telekom recently. But I just can't muster up any indignation at the company commonly known as Die Telekom. I think it's because I feel a bit sorry for them: for their employees for having to work for such an uninspiring organization, for the management for having to lead such an unwieldy behemoth, and for their shareholders (well, only to a certain extent), who must wake up every single morning cursing the day they pumped their hard-earned savings into not a white but a magenta elephant.

When the company first floated on the stock market in 1996, its shares were five times over-subscribed.  The issue price was 14.57 euros. Ten-and-a-half years later, the share price stands at an appalling 12.60 euros. During the dotcom bubble, it actually peaked at 103.50 euros. If you didn't sell back then, you must be feeling pretty suicidal now.

Last week, Telekom announced a 58 percent drop in profits and the loss of half a million fixed-line customers in the first quarter of 2007 alone.

To add to their woes, 14,000 staff have now gone on strike in protest at the new CEO's attempt to push through reforms and spin-off its service arm. Management have offered staff a less than enticing proposal of longer hours (38 instead of 34 per week) and 9 percent less pay.

Nevertheless, despite the walk out, there seem to be enough people around to pester me. The first call was a lady asking if I would like a new mobile. When I explained that I've got one, she asked me if I would like another one. Err, no, thanks but no thanks. The second call was another lady asking whether I would like one of the new Telekom phone and internet flatrate plans. Err, I've already got one - and have had one for the last four months. Surely it's not unreasonable to expect Telekom might know this rather basic piece of information themselves.

This second call in particular - and Telekom's obvious inability to distinguish between an arse and an elbow - could be the reason why they are in such deep doggy doo in the first place.