Where there’s muck there’s brass

The environment truly is nirvana for Big Business. Leafing through the latest copy of weekly news magazine Der Spiegel (and I say leafing because there’s very little worth reading in it), I counted no fewer than nine big, expensive ads placed by multinational corporations each proclaiming to be doing their bit for the environment. Who are these greener-than-thou organisations? Fairtrade? The Co-op Bank? Greenpeace? Err, no, not quite. Try ExxonMobil, BP, Lufthansa, General Electric, smart, the German nuclear power industry association, VW, Citroen, and German power utility RWE.

Here are the details:

Lufthansa: One double-page ad on their support for research into environmentally-friendly technology. Slogan: Wachstum umweltbewusst gestalten. Aus Verantwortung. (Rough translation: Growth driven by sensitivity for the environment. It’s our responsibility.)

GE: One full-page ad with an image of picturesque mountain terrain covered in pine trees. There’s a deep blue river in the foreground, and, err, a coal-laden barge. The headline reads: Weil die Natur Energie mit weniger Emissionen braucht. (Because nature needs power with lower emissions).

Smart: One double-page ad featuring an image of a smart car with CO2 Champion daubed on the side in green paint. Also features the “Live Earth” logo.

The German nuclear industry association: One full-page ad entitled Deutschlands ungeliebte Klimaschützer (Germany’s unloved protectors of the environment). Image of a lake with grassy banks in the foreground. Oh and two cooling towers in the background.

VW: One full-page ad including a booklet containing lots of images of cars driving along fields, orchards, tree-lined roads. The message: Wer ein Auto fährt, trägt eine grosse Verantwortung. Wer eines herstellt, erst recht (Car drivers have a big responsibility. Carmakers an even bigger one).

Citroen: A double half-page spread with an image of a sort of human car leaning back and relaxing in a field surrounded by butterflies and flowers. The headline: Unser CO2 Gewissen ist 120 Gramm leicht (Our CO2 conscience weighs just 120 grams).

RWE: A full-page spread, no image apart from a German flag fluttering in the top right-hand corner. Headline: Energieeffizienz ist für uns kein Zukunftsthema. Sondern eine Aufgabe der Gegenwart (Energy efficiency isn’t a thing of the future for us. It’s a challenge for today). Followed by three paragraphs of blahdeblah that I couldn’t be bothered to read.

ExxonMobil: The environment’s best friend has taken out a full-page ad with the headline: Weniger Emissionen? Wir arbeiten daran (Lower emissions? We’re working on it). Sure you are guys, sure you are.

BP: The pioneer of green branding isn’t going to miss out on this party, and gets in on the act with a full-page ad on the inside back cover sporting the headline Biokraftstoffe: weniger CO2, mehr IQ (Biofuel: less CO2, more IQ).

Coining in the green

A full-page, four-colour advert (like all of the above) in Der Spiegel currently costs €51,110. Which means the value of all the ad space for this guff would have been a bacon-sandwich-dropping €562,100.

But can readers expect fair and balanced reporting on Big Business and the environment from a magazine that trousers over half a million euros in ad revenue from big corporations in just one week?

Maybe. But just maybe.